


A Hotter Touch

by Erestorandfin



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:29:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28990743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erestorandfin/pseuds/Erestorandfin
Summary: Think of what you did, and how I hope to God he was worth it.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway, Kathryn Janeway/Kashyk
Comments: 25
Kudos: 41





	A Hotter Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by ‘Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off’ by Panic! At The Disco.
> 
> As always, endless thanks to Mary S!

Is it still me that makes you sweat?

Am I who you think about in bed?

When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking

As you're sliding off your dress?

Then think of what you did

And how I hope to God he was worth it

When the lights are dim and your heart is racing

As your fingers touch his skin

I've got more wit, a better kiss

A hotter touch, a better fuck

Than any boy you'll ever meet

Sweetie, you had me

Girl I was it, look past the sweat

A better love deserving of

Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat

No, no, no, you know

It will always just be me

***

I had felt their mutual attraction from the start, though I had quickly dismissed it.

You didn’t have to know her well to realise she liked dangerous men, craving someone who would challenge her and push her limits. But her ability to resist and suppress her instincts had been tested over time, and she was too focused on her responsibilities to indulge her base desires. There was no reason to believe that that would change now.

So I had pushed aside my concern, and at first, I was confident in my assumptions, that I had the situation under control. Though they seemed to have a natural rapport, there was nothing suggestive in their behaviour, the attention she was paying him only that which was appropriate in the situation. But with each passing inspection, my unease grew, unable to stop myself becoming irritated by his effortless ability to draw her focus. There was still nothing evident, nothing I could pinpoint, except the feeling that she was trying to conceal something from me.

***

There was no answer when I went to her quarters, though to be fair, it wasn’t as though she had been expecting me. Judging from the fact the doors were left unsealed, however, it appeared I had become more predictable than I had thought.

I should have waited for her to become aware of my presence, but the open bedroom door was all the invitation I needed, pulse quickening at the thought of finding her waiting in some stage of undress. But far from the expected delight, I was brought up short, hovering unseen at the threshold as I realised it hadn’t been her who had left her quarters unlocked.

As I anticipated, she was partially undressed, though her body was mostly hidden, trapped against the bulkhead by the man I had come to despise. My burning envy was quenched as I took in the struggle between them as she fought to free herself, to refuse his clearly unwanted advances. I should have stepped in, but immobilised from shock, the thought occurred too late.

Despite her size, somehow she managed to gain the upper hand, escaping his grasp and shoving him away. I awaited with glee the glorious moment, only mere seconds away, when she would kick him unceremoniously from her sight. But even as I thought it, picturing his face darkening in fury at her rejection, she feverishly hurled her body back against his, the desire in her eyes clear, and it was him pressed against the wall this time. 

It was undeniably evident that their struggle was merely one for power, two dominant forces waging war against each other, and not that of two minds with different intentions.

There was nothing gentle in the way they came together, lips and tongues furiously meshing as they each battled for control of the kiss. Their impatience mirrored in the movement of their bodies as clothes were shed, and the sound of fabric tearing filled the air as neither was willing to delay the ability to press their naked flesh together long enough to undress properly. Though she fought fiercely for dominance of the encounter, in the end she was brought to the floor by his heavier weight, panting with exertion as she found herself pinned face down under him.

Almost immediately, she was pulled to hands and knees, and without so much as a touch or word to check she was ready, impaled upon his throbbing erection. Her gasp conveyed a mixture of pain and delight, and she eagerly arched against him in pleasure and relief, their movements almost feral, completely uninhibited as their bodies collided again. The hand in her hair pulled her head back so sharply that I could almost feel the strain, but she seemed to enjoy it, her face blissful.

Jealousy burned through me, but I could not avert my gaze. Transfixed by the sight of her pale curves, glistening with a thin sheen of sweat as she pressed back against his cock, her body begging for him to fuck her harder, as though the pleas that fell from her lips weren’t enough to convey her need. As though she wasn’t describing, without a shred of shame or innocence, exactly what she wanted in explicit detail. He was more than willing to oblige, hands gripping her hips tight enough to bruise as he buried himself back into her pliant body with full force, and she choked in pained pleasure. My usual tightly-controlled calmness was long gone, and I wanted to break each of his fingers as they dug into her soft skin, to punish him for daring to touch her, for having the audacity to leave the marks I knew would be present on her body tomorrow.

It was hard to reconcile the thought of the indomitable captain with the woman willingly surrendering to his desire, begging and pleading and completely under his control. He could have told her to do anything, instructed her to betray her deepest beliefs, and she would have done it in a heartbeat, without reservation, without conscience, as she merged her will with his. 

The movement of her body was hypnotic, my eyes caught in rapt attention as she undulated under him, the passion that drove her onward evident in every move. As her desperation for more made itself known, he responded to her with the confidence of a lover who had known her before, easily reacting to the signals her body gave, and my jealousy deepened.

Even as I watched them slaking their lust together, a part of me still believed that I had some hold over her. That maybe she had been thinking of me, pretending I was the one delving into her with such ardour. But as the furious pounding sent her into spasms of ecstasy, this last hope was dashed as her scream echoed in my ears.

His name, not mine.

My eyes narrowed, partly in uncontrolled lust at the sight of her orgasm, but mostly in fury and betrayal. Everything about her was so utterly captivating, even in her treachery, and to my disgust, I could not tear my eyes away from her. Surprised to find my desire for her was not diminished in any way, though now it was driven by the urge to make sure she knew she was mine.

Having seen enough, I retreated in silence without either of them noticing I was ever there.

***

In the security of my quarters, I tried to collect my thoughts, to process what I had seen, and the implications.

This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go.

She should have been mine. But with perfect certainty, I realised that had never been possible; she had played me, strung me along for her own means without any care. I had seen in her my match, a woman after my own heart, willing to do anything to get what she wanted. And I had been correct, in a way. But I had been mistaken about what it was that she wanted.

Remembering the ease with which she had shared her body with me, repeatedly, I finally understood what lengths she would go to, to protect her ship. Oh, she had played her role superbly; I know far too much of manipulation and deception not to recognise her mastery.

And if I hadn’t seen them, it might have worked. But no amount of skill could prevent her performance from falling painfully short in view of what I witnessed, the emptiness in her words to me now exposed, aware of the desire and emotion they should have held, recalling the love so disgustingly obvious as she screamed his name.

I had wanted to be the one to destroy forever the bond between them, almost as much as I had wanted her. But somehow my presence had acted as the catalyst, forcing them more tightly together in an explosion of passion, instead of ripping them apart.

Maybe she had merely needed a reminder of what she was missing.

Maybe my presence had stoked his possessiveness, forcing him into decisive action.

Maybe she wasn’t the only one able to play a part so convincingly. Perhaps they had always been together, both knowing the sacrifice they had to make to ensure the continuing safety of their crew.

The truth of the situation mattered little; no doubt tomorrow, Kathryn would resume her game of cat and mouse with me, unaware that I now know the real game we are playing. The stakes have been irrevocably changed, but she doesn’t need to know that. I’ll play along for now, letting her think she has bested me, imagining the look of shock on her face when I strip her of command, and likely more, before delivering her ship and crew to the Imperium. 

And in the end, I will get what I want, though not how I had anticipated. I’ve never been one to put faith in anything as far-fetched or intangible as love – an emotion best left to weak souls with no ambitions of their own, instead seeking to fill the empty void inside them with the thoughts of another. So why had her actions bothered me?

My pride was stung, but I have dealt with worse. I will settle for her body alone, with no thoughts of kindness, or anything other than lust and control. It was better this way, I mused – after all, was she not the prime example of the folly and weakness of those who follow their hearts? Her strength diminished by her willingness to risk everything for someone so ordinary and insignificant.

Her anguish when she realises the consequences of her actions will be even more delicious than my original plan. So for now I’ll bide my time, eagerly anticipating the moment I can bring the hammer down, in one fell swoop shattering her illusions, her control, and her heart. And then...oh, she’ll pay for her deception.

I can hardly wait to ask her if he was worth it.

I do hope she enjoys this new game.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been trying to challenge myself to move out of my comfort zone with my writing. For this piece, I continued my exploration into first person (thank you Mary for putting up with my many unintentional tense changes😆) and wrote the piece from the POV of someone who wasn't Kathryn/Chakotay for the first time. Please let me know what you think!
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Star Trek: Voyager and all its characters belong to Paramount Pictures/CBS; no infringement of copyright is intended.


End file.
